I finally did it, I deactivated my facebook (and the internet *gasps*). I've been telling a couple friends how sick I am of it...and I finally did it. It's really only temporary, at least this go around, but I am SO HAPPY for the break. Really. I am not fond of the idea of anyone (ok, I added people, but, that's the next subject) being able to go on and read about my life. In this age of social networking, we share our lives so readily...too readily...every minute detail from the moment a child is born (I held out for a few days before I announced mine had been...I wanted to enjoy the moment with PEOPLE.) to a trip to the grocery store, to a random pain. Not that the people sitting behind their computers/phones aren't people...but...really...if someone really cares, won't they call me or text me...even if it's via technology, at least they are making an effort to have a personal relationship. Facebook negates that. It removes the need for me to call to see how someone is doing, because...I ALREADY KNOW. Oh, yea, see, she went to the Farmer's Market today...and, I "liked" it...which, in the world of facebook, is TOTALLY a personal touch.
And then there is the DRAMA...yes, DRAMA...say it outloud with me, while you widen your eyes (you know, the eyes strained by the tiny lights in your computer screen) DRAMA. Apparently you cannot be friends with someone unless you are "friends" with them on facebook. Really? Are we so controlled by a free website that we can't have friends outside of those we communicate with on the world wide web? I have a friend I met online (yes, it's true...we haz a cool) and we talk off the computer...we have a real relationship...we are real people...and don't NEED facebook to communicate. A few times I've decided to dwindle down my 'friends' list to limit how many people I was revealing my life to...not that I have anything to hide..but, really...some stuff I don't need EVERYONE knowing about. ("oh, yea...I heard about that on facebook"). Enter the messages saying "why aren't we FRIENDS?!?! why did you UNFRIEND me? why did you DELETE me?" As if I just pressed a button and MURDERED them online...really...that's the tone I read these messages with.
It's not that I do not care about the people I don't want to have access my facebook...I just want to have my little circle...my little circle of people I talk to, family I was to keep in touch with...alas...there are people, when I reactivate my account...who I won't delete, just because I don't want to create more drama...because, really, real life is dramatic enough. However, I will guard myself more, because my heart may be worn on my sleeve, but I won't wear it on the internet for all to see.
For now, I join one of my friends in the ranks of stay at home mommy without a facebook (wink wink, you know who you are, kisses to you girlies and baby). Maybe it'll be a week, maybe two..maybe I'll return with a family facebook and only have mutual friends...it really doesn't matter at the moment, because I am enjoying the freedom I have found in not feeling the need to check my facebook everyday...I hope to retain that, to spend more time reading, more time cuddling and more time reaching out to the people I call my friends. ♥