Tuesday, August 10, 2010

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With this new blessing God is bringing into our lives, I have been so very sick.  Morning sickness isn't an accurate description.  Imagine a horribly strong, nagging nausea accompanied with bouts of violent puking....times that by 10, and you'll have a close idea of what I have been feeling for the past few months.  ound horrid?  Yea..it is.  But, to say I have 2 1/2 months of it under my belt makes me feel accomplished.  I have survived 10 weeks of this...and, I pray to God, that I have very little left of it to endure.  I have definitely been brought to my knees, and have found very little relief from it. 

This evening, however, was one of those very infrequent times when I have been able to breathe calmly without feeling the urge to throw up.  I had a couple of hours where I felt almost normal...almost.  I called up  (ok, texted, actually) my dear friend who I have not seen/talked to in some time and asked to be taken out for tea.  I walked out of my door and smelled the city smells, an aroma I escape inside all day, laying on my couch.  I got in a car and was driven down a busy street I had not walked on in months.  I stood in line and savored the smell of freshly ground coffee and ordered my decaf green tea.  I spent a sweet time holding that tea, just holding it, for at least thirty minutes while I caught up with my friend.  I hope I remember the things I wanted to walk away from that conversation with.  The feeling of being understood.  The idea that some relationships are what you make them.  And the notion that I need to let go of my ideas about things and just go with the flow sometimes. 

I pray that these moments come upon me more often the next few months, as I so want them to.  I thank God for friendship that is sweet, for smells often overlooked, and for the feeling that you are normal..at least for a little while.

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