With this new blessing God is bringing into our lives, I have been so very sick. Morning sickness isn't an accurate description. Imagine a horribly strong, nagging nausea accompanied with bouts of violent puking....times that by 10, and you'll have a close idea of what I have been feeling for the past few months. ound horrid? Yea..it is. But, to say I have 2 1/2 months of it under my belt makes me feel accomplished. I have survived 10 weeks of this...and, I pray to God, that I have very little left of it to endure. I have definitely been brought to my knees, and have found very little relief from it.
This evening, however, was one of those very infrequent times when I have been able to breathe calmly without feeling the urge to throw up. I had a couple of hours where I felt almost normal...almost. I called up (ok, texted, actually) my dear friend who I have not seen/talked to in some time and asked to be taken out for tea. I walked out of my door and smelled the city smells, an aroma I escape inside all day, laying on my couch. I got in a car and was driven down a busy street I had not walked on in months. I stood in line and savored the smell of freshly ground coffee and ordered my decaf green tea. I spent a sweet time holding that tea, just holding it, for at least thirty minutes while I caught up with my friend. I hope I remember the things I wanted to walk away from that conversation with. The feeling of being understood. The idea that some relationships are what you make them. And the notion that I need to let go of my ideas about things and just go with the flow sometimes.
I pray that these moments come upon me more often the next few months, as I so want them to. I thank God for friendship that is sweet, for smells often overlooked, and for the feeling that you are normal..at least for a little while.