Wow.

Dear Belligerent Person,

I am sorry you were so offended by the invitation to my sister's bridal shower.  Seeing as I have no idea who you are, since you didn't include your name, I am taking the liberty of responding to your sweet little note via the internet.  To begin with, the invitation was very sweetly put (I promise) and did not sound rude, demanding, or otherwise.  Perhaps you received it on a bit of a bad day, or, perhaps, like the rest of us, you have been affected by the economy and can not afford to bring both a gift and food.  As I am sure you can imagine, I have put quite a bit of money into this veture for my sister.  I, too, have been affected by this economy and cannot afford to feed the fifty people invited.  That, I am afraid, is the reason we decided to make this a potluck shower.  Had you called me, as instructed, to decline coming, I would have been more than happy to tell you that I would bring an extra dish for you, so that you could share in my sister's special day.  However, again, I have no idea who you are (which means I don't even know who to cross off my list) so I cannot reach out to you and share this with you in person.  While I am sure you have not been invited to a potluck bridal shower, I have been, many times, and was more than blessed to participate to share in someone's special day.  Please forgive me to thinking that you would be happy to do the same. 

As far as lingerie goes, if you know my sister, which you do...SHE invited you.  You know that is a God fearing woman who has saved herself for the man that she is marrying.  She has never had the occasion to pick out her own lingerie and was so happy to be able to do so now.  Please, forgive my sister for wanting the joy of picking out what she will wear when she gives herself to her husband....that must be so incredibly offensive to you.

I am sure if you re-read the invitation (oh, wait, you had to sent it back with your note, I am sure you wanted that filth out of your home) you would see that I was giving suggestions, not demands.

Honestly, if I had felt so offended at something such as this, I would've sucked it up and gone anyway, to be a blessing to the my friend, the bride.  You must think not putting your name on such a note as this, you were able to speak your mind...you must feel better.  The bride, on the other hand..is now stressed...as I am I, even more than we need to be.  We're talking about my sister here.  How selfish to send something you know she would see, just to make yourself feel better....and MY invitation was rude. 

All I can say, is, I am sorry that you were so heinously offended to be invited to a special day in my sister's life.  I am sorry I beseeched you to help us, in a way, on that day.  I am sorry my sister is so modest and wants the joy of shopping for lingerie on her own.  I cannot say this on her part, but I am sorry she invited you.  I am, however, elated, that you did decline to come.  I am sure we will somehow manage without you.  I can only imagine the tension you would add. 

I may never say this to your face...for, I am sure, unless you find the wedding invitation also horridly offensive, I will see you on that day.  I may not know who you are, or maybe I do.  I may not know on that day that it was you...but, that's ok, I have enough to worry about, ya know, cause I actually care about my sister.